Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Thanksgiving Special part 3!

Over Thanksgiving I learned that...

...Black friday shoppers scare me.

Yep I did the black friday thing. Well...not me exactly...I was mostly moral support/a ride for my friend who had a far more legitimate reason to be there. Well I (being the worldly, enlightened fellow that I am) have heard a great deal about these black fridays, but have never participated in one. My friend Andrew convinced me to go with him (using the infinite persuasive line "Hey dude wanna do black friday?") so that he could pick up a bunch of PS3 games for $10 apiece (like I said, a good reason).

Skip ahead to post-feast down time. Unsure of what to do with my tryptophan laced self, I jumped at the opportunity to go hang out with some friends. Now I love the company of said friends and legitimately enjoy the time I spend with them. But the commute is, lets say, long. It takes about an hour to get down there, depending heavily on traffic, streetlights, cops, and my own horribly flawed sense of direction. But I eventually made it down there, and had a great time. The issues came in the leaving. We had watched a movie (Scott Pilgrim Versus the World if you must know, and yes you should absolutely see it), and as such, I left this town around 2:00 in the morning. Now do the math kiddies. If I left at 2:00, and it takes an hour to get home, what time did Eric make it back home assuming he wasn't arrested and dragged off to prison unjustly? That's right! 3AM!

Now, if you've been a regular reader (which I thank you if you are) you'll have read the previous post, talking about when I woke up at 8am to start cooking. Well when I made it back home, and knowing I had to get to Andrew's at 4am, my somewhat delirious mind just said "fuck it, I'm not sleeping"

And I didn't sleep. I stayed up and did stuff (watched SC2 casts, played video games, stared blankly at the wall as patterns I was sure weren't there earlier today moved about of their own accord) until 4 in the morning. Well I managed to make it to Andrew's house (which is only a couple minutes away) without crashing. And I even made it to Best Buy without crashing (and only one moving violation!). Parking the car some distance away from the store, Andrew and I walked through the drizzle towards the warm, inviting glow of the Best Buy sign. The scene that unfolded before us as the cars seemed to part for us was akin to a vista one would see after a devastating nuclear attack ravaged the country, and this line was the only line for clean water and non-irradiated food for miles around. People were little more than huddled bulks of blankets and jackets pulled around drenched forms. The only thing missing were a few barrel fires and we would have had a regular hobo hoedown.

Well Andrew and I, hoods and jackets pulled over our heads, made our way around the building to the end of the line. Yes AROUND the building to reach the end of the line. I didn't even know Best Buy buildings had a back side to them...I mostly thought that Best Buys were carved out of a sheer granite cliff face or something of the sort...Anyways Andrew and I were busy keeping the Bobcat company and during this time (standing with my jacket over my head trying not to die of hypothermia) I realized that my mind had sunk further and further into the depths of madness.

I realized something that night, as we finally made our way into the Best Buy to pick up our stuff. No it wasn't that American consumerism is insane and that people would give up their firstborn to get a deal on a TV. No it wasn't that people would be willing to murder one another over being able to buy a TV. No, my great, life changing epiphany was this. If I was a homeless dude, I would hang out outside of Best Buy on Black Friday and steal ALL THE TENTS AND SLEEPING BAGS THAT WERE LEFT SITTING ON THE SIDEWALK.

Seriously that is like a goddamn hobo GOLDMINE. Sure it was all wet and stuff, but a free tent? Fuck yeah!

...And that's what I learned over Thanksgiving.

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