Monday, December 20, 2010

...Sarah Palin is stealing Dragonology's style...

...In terms of book publishing at least...

Ok this probably requires some qualification. I was at Barnes and Noble yesterday and was busy wandering through the various aisles just staring at books (wearing the 3d glasses I had just gotten after watching Tron). When I got to the biography section, a book, nay, a veritable Monopoly-box sized monument to Alaskan patriotism stood before me. (No seriously, the thing was the size of a standard monopoly-box...) Standing gracefully across it's cover, Sarah Palin grinning coyly at me. Perturbed and intrigued by this book 'o Palin, I opened it up...only to realize it didn't quite open...No dear readers, this was actually just a fancy sleeve for the large book inside.

Sliding the book out of the sleeve, I was immediately struck by the pages of this book, and how strange gaps had seemed to develop between what should have been flush pages. Well little did I know that David Lifton had taken a page from the previous encyclopedia sized tomes that had come before it. Clearly Mr. Lifton was a fan of such books as Dragonology and Pirateology (the two bestselling titles in the famed -ology series). For those of you who have never experienced the wonder that is the -ology series of literature, allow me to explain. These book are veritable tomes of knowledge for whatever prefix precedes -ology. There are 32 pages of beautiful illustrations and wonderful lore about dragons that would make your 9 year old boy or girl positively gleam with fantastic wonder and joy. But most interesting of all, the Dragonology book poses as a real diary of one of the worlds foremost dragonologists. It is a truly interactive experience with fake notes taped to the pages, hastily scrawled letters in sleeves and even a sample of real dragon skin (if memory serves correct). All these extras lend credence to the illusion that this book, bought from any average bookstore, is actually the long lost journal of a great adventurer. It was designed specifically to immerse your child in this world, whatever that world may be, be it dragons, pirates or otherwise.

Well apparently Mr. Lifton was SO moved by these books that he set out to make his own, not about the far off mystical lands of dragons and pirates...no he wrote it about Sarah Palin...he wrote it about reality. And yes this behemoth of right wing conservative nonsense featured many of the same aspects of the -Ology series of books. Faux campaign bumper stickers, reproduced thank you notes, various letters and inserts (no fake dragon skin...or Palin skin for that matter...I'm sorely disappointed Mr. Lifton...) adorned the 30 some-odd pages. Now I have to ask Mr. Lifton, did you really think the world would truly benefit from a book such as this? Do you really thing something as boring and depressing as politics would shine when applied to such a format? Did you really think that this book belongs in the "biography" section? Well if you answered yes to any of these questions (and I KNOW you answered yes to ALL of them...because that's the book you wrote) you need to get your head checked. Quite frankly, I'm insulted on the behalf of Palin's constituency (at least the portion who aren't already ordering this off of the Barnes and Noble website already excitedly clapping their hands like a walrus about to be fed) that you would treat them with such disrespect and mock their intellects in such a way as this. No grown adults do not need this format of book. Not saying that I don't think it is a wonderful idea, but this is kids stuff. And unless you're trying to corrupt our children (yes I used that wonderful Fox News buzz phrase) with the promise of "Real letters from the desk of Sarah Palin!", then I suggest you pick a format that not only does justice to your intelligence and writing abilities, but also pays the proper respect to the subject matter at hand......oh wait.....


...And that's what I learned today.

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