Saturday, December 31, 2011

...I'm growing up and I don't like it...

So another holiday season has come and gone. Another holiday season spent with the family cooking a fucking phenomenal prime rib roast and guzzling down wine. And like seasons past, my parents had no idea what to get me (because they apparently don't know what it is I do with my time) and so I ended up with electric toothbrushes and a pretty decent wad of cash.

Now before you all get up in arms about how lucky I should feel and how I'm selfish and rude and an entitled asshole and that there are kids out there who aren't getting anything this year and blah blah blah, this isn't a post about that. I know I'm fortunate. I have a job, I can afford a comfortable life, and I know it. Believe me I know it. This is not a post about that, so put your fucking torches and pitchforks away. There will be plenty of time for that later (especially the way this world is going :P).

No, this is a post about how I think I'm slowly doing what I said I would never do. I'm (scarily enough) starting to grow up and possibly even becoming a wee bit more responsible.

Yeah, I know. That face you're making? The one where your jaw is agape and you're possibly drooling on yourself with shock? Yeah that's the one I'm making too.

See, normally when presented with a couple hundred dollars in cash I wasn't expecting to receive, what did I do? Well I went out and bought the newest, nicest toy that I always wanted by never got. You know what I did this year? Well, for one thing, I still have almost all of it. Do you know what I've spent it on? Groceries, jeans, underwear and a bathroom scale. You know what I'm going to go spend some more of it on? Curtains for my room, probably those thermal insulating ones that everyone keeps telling me to get.


What the fuck is wrong with me? If you approached me a year ago and said "Hey Eric, you got a couple hundred bucks for Christmas, what are you going to get with that money?" I'm sure (since you all know me and all of my deep dark secrets and personality flaws SO well) you would all have expected me to say "Well the iDroid Galaxy X platinum fire 5G just came out and I'm gonna get EIGHT OF THEM because I need one for EVERY ROOM IN MY HOUSE and sure it'll only cost SIX THOUSAND dollars but now I have a couple hundred to subsidize that cost now so I'M FUCKING GOLDEN BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

And now what am I thinking of? Fucking heat insulating curtains.

I think the worst part about all this is, I have no idea when this happened. Is this a good thing? I guess so? I think I should balance out this newfound maturity by making a slip-n-slide out of Ben 'n Jerry's ice cream in the driveway.

...And that's what I learned today.

Friday, December 16, 2011

...I never thought I would be writing this post...

So some context. I'm writing this in a state of mild to moderate delirium (as many of my blog posts seem to be going now). If you feel like making one yourself, you have to mix 2 parts cold with 1 part coming into work super early and a dash of...well...the topic of today's blog post.

Awkward and awfully written introduction piece over, lets get down to why I'm writing this post.

When I say I never thought I would be writing this blog post, I meant it. I never thought it would come to this...ever. But I guess it's finally that time.

I started playing an MMO. Yes that's right I've started playing Star Wars the Old Republic...and I'm enjoying it...
/social life.

"But why is this so weird? Lots of people play WoW and SWTOR just came out and you're lucky to get in early and blah blah blah blah" I hear you ask. Well I guess this deserves a bit of explanation as all of you out there in Internet land haven't lived your entire life with me the same way I have. (That's a lie...only my friends read this anyways...)

Flashback to the 1990s. Everquest hits the shelves to massive acclaim. What's Eric doing at this point in time (besides awkwardly staring at girls and running away screaming when they made eye contact?), well decrying the unjust system of payment levied by the greedy game companies that Everquest embodied. I swore that I would NEVER play a game that required me to first purchase the client and then PAY MONTHLY to play the damn thing.

Move forwards a bit. The Xbox is released. With it comes Xbox Live. What's Eric doing at this point in time? Playing Halo with his buddies in their basement all the while proclaiming "Never shall I give in to the tyranny of paying to play my games online! This is clearly just money grubbing from the obviously corrupt and greedy Microsoft! But I will stay strong! The internet should be a free and wild place where people can game for free and mod to their hearts' content!" (Did anyone else picture me wearing a monocle and top hat here? Well if you didn't before, you just did.)

Since then, WoW, Eve Online, Guild Wars, LOTRO, and many more have come and gone, yet I remained steadfast in my disapproval of subscription based payment models in gaming.

Well sadly, that has changed. After getting peer pressured into preordering a copy of SWTOR, I got an email saying that I got into the game early. So after logging off my work computer, I proceeded to create my character and start playing. And then I realized several things. First, I realized that it was midnight. Second, I realized I hadn't eaten dinner yet. Third, and most importantly, I realized just how easy it was for people to starve to death playing MMOs. Seriously! I went like 12 fucking hours without food and didn't even realize it. I'M A FAT KID. I LIKE FOOD. AND WHEN A FAT KID IGNORES FOOD FOR THAT LONG, OTHER PEOPLE WOULD ACTUALLY WASTE AWAY AND DIE. Luckily for me I had plenty of calories stored up and the fast didn't bother me, but GODDAMN.

So long story short, this is likely the last blog post I ever write because I will be dead by the end of the month after forgetting to eat or drink or breathe air thanks to this goddamn game. Fuck my life...

...And that's what I learned today.