Tuesday, November 23, 2010

...I need to keep better track of my thoughts...

As the vast majority of you can probably tell, I have a mind that tends to wander quite a bit (just look at my blog post history thus far...). That said, this blog was meant to be a means by which I could share my unique and special (read disturbing and frightening) gift with the world. But there is an inherent problem with this practice.

So thus far we have already established that my mind is quite twisted and tends to flit from subject to subject like a drunk college girl flits from guy to guy at a party, completely ignoring the nice ones and being magnetically attracted straight for that douchebag with the stupid hair and stupid shirt and stupid shit beer and stupid sagged jeans and if she only took the time to get to know me she'd figure out I'm a really awesome person andshewouldn'tendupwithanassholelikehimcuzhe'snogoodforherandhe'sonlydoingthesethingstogetinherpantsandIwouldbesomuchbetterthanhimifshe'donlygivemethechance...

Wait where was I? Oh right, my mind is akin to a kid with severe ADHD on Meth. It wanders away without my expressed permission and ends up going down some strange paths, like wondering how practical it is to duct tape an iPod touch to an iPhone to make a massive pseudo flip phone. Which is great when you have a blog about similarly random and stupid nonsense. It's great because I think up something dumb, and hey, there's a blog topic! Great! I'll post something about that tonight! Now here's the issue. By the time I get a free moment to post something, 90% of the time I have FORGOTTEN WHAT I WAS GOING TO POST ABOUT. Thus is the issue with having a mind like a cheetah on crack cocaine (who also has ADHD).

So what are the obvious ways of dealing with this? Well write it down retard! Obviously that's the answer. And this would be a simple answer, if not for the fact that I typically get these thoughts while in public places. Now I do keep an notebook with me in my backpack, just in case I get something brilliant. But again, this all takes place in public. Every single time I get a good idea, I reach for my notebook (typically on the T, where there is nothing better to do than stare at the person in front of you (their face or their crotch, depending on whether or not you're sitting or standing) or read over the shoulder of the person next to you. So when I reach for that notebook, I always pause and wonder to myself. What are people around you going to think? Or more specifically "Are people going to perceive me as some asshole hipster who is writing stupid song lyrics in their moleskine notebook?" From there, things go downhill, as my mind is wont to do. From there, I imagine someone wondering to themselves, "Hey that guy is writing something in a notebook, maybe its something really cool or profound. Maybe he's figuring out the cure to world hunger, or Faster Than Light travel, or maybe even the answer to our global power crisis!" And then this person leans in and reads over my shoulder, and sees me writing "Why do monkey's fling their poop->evolutionary biological warfare->butts lol". Well whatever perceptions of intelligence, or even genius, this individual held about me are shattered into a million, unrepairable pieces. And if I had to worry about the one person whose opinion I cared about most, it would be some random stranger I met on the train.

So this string of events ends up resulting in my never writing anything in my notebook and a good number of great potential post ideas getting lost in the swirling chaotic static that is my typical thought process.

So in the end, if you ever wonder what it is I post about ad how I get my topics, (or why I'm not posting anything new), you can blame that on hipsters.

...And that's what I learned today.

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