Tuesday, January 4, 2011

...My Asian-ness has given me a stronger stomach...

So I knew I've eaten some strange things in the past. Things that are strange by anyone's standards really (except maybe for that Andrew Zimmern guy). But it wasn't until I was surfing a blog entitled "Worst Thing I Ever Ate" that I realized just how much weird stuff other people aren't used to.

So before we begin, here's a quick run down of the things I've eaten that I think MOST people would agree is weird (with a brief description)

-Pork Hocks (or Pig's feet)
These things are delicious. It's not like the actual hooves, but rather the lower leg right above them. My mom cooks these in some kind of mystery sauce (soy sauce, sugar and a bunch of other things) that leaves them super tender and really sweet. The skin (yes skin) is really soft and basically melts in your mouth. I love these.

-Chicken Feet (sensing a trend?)
These are also really good. Cooked well (that is by a CHINESE person...or probably any asian for that matter) these are really tasty. Sure there isn't any meat, but the skin comes right off the bone and the tendons are super tender and chewy. This is CLASSIC Chinese Dim Sum and it's amazing. Just beware of all the bones.

-Pork Intestine
Yep this is one of my all time favorites. Again, cooked properly, this is delicious. I've had it cooked a ton of different ways and personally I think it needs to be incorporated in to Western cuisine far more.

Dude, the Chinese invented this shit...so go figure only we know how to cook it. 'Nuff said. It's awesome

-Stinky Tofu
See above, but add a smell similar to old socks or a gym locker. Pretty rank smelling, not that different tasting to be honest.

-Bamboo Worms
Yeah these were awesome. They're worms about the size of a meal worm (google it). I had these in Taiwan, deep fried with salt and white pepper (one of my favorite styles of cooking ANYTHING). So needless to say, these were fucking awesome. Tasted kind of like cashews.

-Bees (young/larvae)
Same restaurant, same style of cooking. More cashew flavor, still pretty freaking awesome.

-Mambo Sunfish
One of these bastards. Had a consistency similar to really tender chicken...which really freaked me out. Still really delicious.

Tail specifically. Awesome and delicious. Deep fried chicken nugget style. mmmmmmm

-Various bird innards
You name it, heart, liver, gizzard, I've eaten most of it.

So that's about it really. There's plenty more out there that I want to try. But this blog wouldn't be complete without a little whining and bitching, so here goes.

Maybe my being Chinese has made me immune to such things, but, while the vast majority of the shit on this site are pretty awful, there were a few things on this site that kind of annoyed me. One woman complained about being served a piece of sushi where the shrimps head was used for a garnish. I'm sorry, but where I come from, the shrimp are served with the head still attached. And the first step to eating them is to twist that little fucker in half. I've been hand-decapitating shrimp by the dozens since I was a young boy. Don't you go talking to me about a shrimp whose head is NOT EVEN ON. QQ moar, you lose. Beyond that, I'm used to seeing heads on Lobsters, Fish, Ducks, Chickens AND Pigs. Just because you can't handle seeing where your food CAME FROM doesn't mean it's the worst thing you ever ate. Shut the fuck up, grow a pair, and look your food in the eyes. It gave it's life to feed you, the least you could do is show it a little respect. Food comes from somewhere other than the little foam trays at the supermarket.

The worst one by far is this one though...For those of you who don't know, those are stuffed grape leaves. This is classic Mediterranean food and I love this stuff. I can understand they're not for everyone. They have a pretty strong flavor and the texture is a little on the slimy side. But I'm sorry....how FUCKING STUPID are you that you mistook this for FUCKING SUSHI? I mean shit everyone told me Americans were cultural retards, but that's spectacular. I mean I figured I didn't know people were THAT stupid. Thinking back on it, I like to think I have about an average level of cultural awareness, but thinking about it now, that means 50% of people are worse than me....

No wonder everyone in the world hates us...

...And that's what I learned today.


  1. http://worstthingieverate.com/post/2416975645/the-delightfully-painful-drink


  2. AHAHAHAHHA. Idiot. (the woman who thought it was sushi)