So just a little while ago, Barack Obama released his birth certificate.....
If you're cheering, you should probably stop reading here, because you're just going to get angry over my "pinko-commie-liberal-socialist bullshit" anyways.
Ok are they all gone? Good. Now all of us rational and logical beings have known that this birth certificate nonsense is just noise created by the conservatives to distract everyone from the real issues and to garner more irrational hatred and fear towards the Obama administration. Well finally, Obama had enough, releasing his birth certificate and calling the entire affair "a sideshow". Quite frankly, I couldn't agree more. In the past, the vast majority of these comments were subtly slipped into larger comments, but apparently it caused enough of a stir amongst the republican "Birther" nutjobs such that EVERYTHING Obama says or does is called into question not by their own merits, but by the mere fact that "ZOMG OBAMA MIGHT NOT BE A CITIZEN!!!"
Well in recent days, this issue has died down. But...Enter Donald Trump, gazillionaire and hair product enthusiast. In case you didn't already know, Trump announced his candidacy for president and IMMEDIATELY jumped on the birther bandwagon and dragged that issue back up out of the muck. Every press release was "Birth certificate" this and "Not a natural-born citizen" that. Well today, Obama quashed all rumors by releasing his full birth certificate to the press. Well without missing a beat, Trump scheduled another press meeting, where he strokes his own ego for quite a while. Seriously, the first words out of his mouth in this speech are "Today, I'm very proud of myself because I've accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish". I mean I always knew the guy was an egotistical maniac, but this cements it. But again, this is not the part of this speech that triggered my need to post this blog post. Trump continues saying that he would "want to look at it" (I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR!) and he hopes that it is real and that we can now continue with more important issues now that this one has been settled.
And that's where I begin to taste bile in my mouth.
Seriously Donald? (Can I call you Donald?). Donnie, lets get something straight here, YOU are the one who brought this issue back into the spotlight. YOU are the one who is dragging attention away from, and I'm quoting here "oil...gasoline prices...China ripping off this country... OPEC doing numbers on us like nobody has ever done before". And as though his hubris was not foul enough, he said that now he hoped that the press could stop bugging him about the birth certificate issue. I'm sorry Don, lets get one thing straight here. YOU are a fucking AMATEUR of you think that you can simply drop your own name in the hat, come out claiming that he's not a citizen and thinking that you won't be asked questions about that issue. If you couldn't even figure that out, you don't deserve a nod from the GOP.
Quite frankly, I see this press conference for what it is, a thinly veiled attempt to prolong the issue coupled with self aggrandizing nonsense. I can tell by the emphasis in your speech just what you wanted all your birther crazies to take away from this press conference. Even by saying that you want to look at it, make sure it's all valid, make sure everything is legal and correct etc. and then simply slipping in "I hope it checks out beautifully" and, WITHOUT EVEN TAKING A BREATH, moving on to other issues, I know that you mean to continue prodding that sore spot amongst the birthers.
So congratulations Donnie, you've managed to get Obama to produce his birth certificate. I hope you savor this victory for a long time, because in my eyes, you've only managed to convince me that you are absolutely not fit for office and certainly not fit to lead this country. Go deal with your corporations, it's what you're best at, you should just stick to that and your immensely inane reality shows.
*whew that felt good*
PS: I can't even make a "you're fired" joke here because I would never hire the fucknugget in the first place. Weak.
THE DON'S SPEECH: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6hsm81VXKY
PPS: Even GOP candidates are in something of a "who fucking cares" mood at this point (Palin included) http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/27/gopers-react-to-obamas-birth-certificate/