BREAKING NEWS: DONALD TRUMP IS A FUCKSTICK

Ok here's a quick post for you guys because I can't contain my INFINITE RAGEFACE over this bullshit.

So just a little while ago, Barack Obama released his birth certificate.....

If you're cheering, you should probably stop reading here, because you're just going to get angry over my "pinko-commie-liberal-socialist bullshit" anyways.

Ok are they all gone? Good. Now all of us rational and logical beings have known that this birth certificate nonsense is just noise created by the conservatives to distract everyone from the real issues and to garner more irrational hatred and fear towards the Obama administration. Well finally, Obama had enough, releasing his birth certificate and calling the entire affair "a sideshow". Quite frankly, I couldn't agree more. In the past, the vast majority of these comments were subtly slipped into larger comments, but apparently it caused enough of a stir amongst the republican "Birther" nutjobs such that EVERYTHING Obama says or does is called into question not by their own merits, but by the mere fact that "ZOMG OBAMA MIGHT NOT BE A CITIZEN!!!"

Well in recent days, this issue has died down. But...Enter Donald Trump, gazillionaire and hair product enthusiast. In case you didn't already know, Trump announced his candidacy for president and IMMEDIATELY jumped on the birther bandwagon and dragged that issue back up out of the muck. Every press release was "Birth certificate" this and "Not a natural-born citizen" that. Well today, Obama quashed all rumors by releasing his full birth certificate to the press. Well without missing a beat, Trump scheduled another press meeting, where he strokes his own ego for quite a while. Seriously, the first words out of his mouth in this speech are "Today, I'm very proud of myself because I've accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish". I mean I always knew the guy was an egotistical maniac, but this cements it. But again, this is not the part of this speech that triggered my need to post this blog post. Trump continues saying that he would "want to look at it" (I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR!) and he hopes that it is real and that we can now continue with more important issues now that this one has been settled.

And that's where I begin to taste bile in my mouth.

Seriously Donald? (Can I call you Donald?). Donnie, lets get something straight here, YOU are the one who brought this issue back into the spotlight. YOU are the one who is dragging attention away from, and I'm quoting here "oil...gasoline prices...China ripping off this country... OPEC doing numbers on us like nobody has ever done before". And as though his hubris was not foul enough, he said that now he hoped that the press could stop bugging him about the birth certificate issue. I'm sorry Don, lets get one thing straight here. YOU are a fucking AMATEUR of you think that you can simply drop your own name in the hat, come out claiming that he's not a citizen and thinking that you won't be asked questions about that issue. If you couldn't even figure that out, you don't deserve a nod from the GOP.

Quite frankly, I see this press conference for what it is, a thinly veiled attempt to prolong the issue coupled with self aggrandizing nonsense. I can tell by the emphasis in your speech just what you wanted all your birther crazies to take away from this press conference. Even by saying that you want to look at it, make sure it's all valid, make sure everything is legal and correct etc. and then simply slipping in "I hope it checks out beautifully" and, WITHOUT EVEN TAKING A BREATH, moving on to other issues, I know that you mean to continue prodding that sore spot amongst the birthers.

So congratulations Donnie, you've managed to get Obama to produce his birth certificate. I hope you savor this victory for a long time, because in my eyes, you've only managed to convince me that you are absolutely not fit for office and certainly not fit to lead this country. Go deal with your corporations, it's what you're best at, you should just stick to that and your immensely inane reality shows.

*whew that felt good*

PS: I can't even make a "you're fired" joke here because I would never hire the fucknugget in the first place. Weak.

SOURCE: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/27/white-house-releases-obama-birth-certificate/?hpt=C1

THE DON'S SPEECH: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6hsm81VXKY

PPS: Even GOP candidates are in something of a "who fucking cares" mood at this point (Palin included) http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/27/gopers-react-to-obamas-birth-certificate/

Shitty Music Monday 5

I've said it once and I'll say it again....Today's music is all incredibly same-y. I'm not talking about tunes...I'm talking about lyrics. Listen to 90% of popular music out there and you will begin to hear the same themes pop up again and again. And that's fine. I don't much care about that. Pop music is fun to listen to and dance to. Then there is the less mainstream stuff, the music that you parents warn you about, the stuff that thrives on being different. Granted this covers quite a wide margin of music, and I've come to realize throughout my long and venerated career as a professional music critic, that this margin can typically be divided into two further sub-groups, those that could survive the mainstream but for whatever reason hasn't, and those that rely on their fringe status to survive. Does anyone remember the band Slipknot? Yeah...that's the kind of band I'm talking about. While this band doesn't quite reach the same levels of batshit insanity that Slipknot does, they definitely have something else going for them. Wanna guess what it is? Did anyone else guess skeevy white boy rap? Good job!

I present to you:

Bitches by Hollywood Undead

1) Music: I will admit, the beat is pretty catchy. It's unusual for me to think that, especially because everything about this beat evokes images of a carnival of horrors in the absolute worst way possible. (Then again, I guess that's the whole goddamn point...) That said though, it was a nice break to be able to listen to something outside of the generic synth-hop tracks again and again. Still though, there is something innately unnerving about it...I keep picturing something out of ICP...Dark Carnivals and Juggalos wandering around wondering how magnets work and the like...anybody with me on this one?

2) Vocals: THEY'RE WHITE. Again I don't mean that rap should have only one sound, but even Vanilla Ice had to fake it a little bit. There's just something about rap that, when "sung" with no accent, just kind of makes you want to pat them on the head and go "Oh you! You're so silly!" Until someone truly spectacular comes along and "changes the game up", I'm going to stick by this clearly narrow-minded point of view. And no, Lonely Island doesn't count, though I do like them quite a bit.

3) Lyrics: Here's where we run into some real problems. Normally when I listen to rap, and they claim to have drank, fucked, and murdered their way to success, some internal safety mechanism stops that thought process and goes full reverse into complete and utter denial. Somehow though, when Hollywood Undead says these things...I totally believe it. With such choice lyrics as "This girl is seventeen, now I'm a pedophile", "Then she munched on his dick like a macho burrito", and "Undead dick", you know you've already hit the bottom of that massive bucket of cocaine you keep in the corner (for "creativity") and have started licking the sides out of desperation. But back to my original point, somehow when these masked hooligans talk about fucking underage girls and zombie penises, I really do believe they're telling the truth...(also zombie penis is probably the most abhorrent thing I've written on this blog to date...)

4) Video: There isn't one. The use of speech bubble youtube annotation was adorable though.

5) Summary: Maybe it's the masks, maybe it's the fact that they all sound like serial killers, maybe I've been watching wayyyy too much TV recently and my overactive imagination is starting to take over, but either way, these kinds kinda freak me out at some base, core level, and I'm not easily unnerved. OH Maybe it's actually just the fact that I'm doped out of my mind on allergy meds and don't have a solid grasp on reality right now. Either way, in trying to merge the psychotic fringe look with the mainstream lyrical subject matter, Hollywood Undead has only managed to create a weird circus of John Wayne Gacy impersonators drinking 40s in my mind. Thanks for giving me nightmares for the next month you assholes.

Suggested Audience: Juggalos looking to "broaden their horizons" and who don't want to pursue an elementary school level education to do so. Fucking juggalos...

...You know you're doing it wrong when...

So lets start things off with a MASSIVE disclaimer (gotta love posts that start this way huh?). I do NOT in ANY way condone racism of any kind. I am all for gay marriage, I am all for equal rights across the board, I am pro choice, I am an atheist, and I respect all those around me as I would expect them to respect me (pretty much a Republican's worst nightmare...). That said, I do not condone the actions or the stances of such organizations as the Ku Klux Klan, whose history of white supremacy and hatred towards all things different from themselves is deplorable, disgusting, and should be ignored with all our collective might until they go away for good...

...That said though...I have to bring some of their more recent actions into light....more on this as it develops.

Now as stated above, I'm no fan of conservatism, and I'm no fan of religious fanatics in any way, shape or form. I stand by your right as a US citizen to practice whatever religion you wish, however religion has no place in government, and it has no right to intrude on my private life. Thus, two of my most reviled groups in this world right now are the Westboro Baptist Church and the United States Tea Party.

Lets start with those ever-lovable tea-baggers shall we? I mean where to begin....for one, they're all insane. I don't think that I have heard a single convincing argument as to why I should listen to a tea-party candidate with any degree of seriousness whatsoever, because lets be honest, the most publicity their most famous candidate got was over her supposed affiliation with fucking witchcraft...and that, a solid political platform, does not make. I do have to admit though, I applaud their spirit in trying to change the political landscape in the US. I mean, if we had to tolerate having only two flavors of ice cream, violent revolt would have broken out in this country LONG ago. So I really do appreciate their trying to break out of the mold...RIGHT up until the republican party nervously laughed and pulled them all back under the dark, evil, vampiric cloak that is their political agenda.

And on to the WBC....You remember how I said I respect everyone's right to practice their religion privately? Yeah the WBC is a perfect example of a religious group that does EXACTLY the opposite of that. Someone once said, "religion is like a penis, what you do with it in private is your business, but what I don't want is you whipping it out in public and I DEFINITELY do not want you shoving it down my or my child's throat". Well shove it down our throats they did. From protesting soldiers' funerals to performances of The Laramie Project all the way to picketing SAN DIEGO COMICON toting signs with slogans like "Thank god for dead soldiers" and "God hates fags" (pardon the language), it's really hard to like these guys, even to support their right to practice their religion. I mean seriously, I'm not hardcore stars and stripes nationalist, but I would NEVER go that far.

So back to the beginning of my post...what does the KKK have to do with any of this? Well it seems as though, the actions of the aforementioned establishments are simply too extreme for the KKK...that's right...the WBC and the Tea Party are TOO MUCH FOR THE KKK TO HANDLE. In official press releases (can they actually have press releases?) the Ku Klux Klan LLC " has not or EVER will have ANY connection with The “Westboro Baptist Church”. We absolutely repudiate their tactics of protesting the funerals of U.S. soldiers, men and women who die serving our Nation." and urge their followers to distance themselves from the Tea Party citing their involvement in politics and having "compromised their agenda to support the Progressive Socialist enslavement of the American people." THAT'S RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. The WBC and the Tea Party apparently make the INFAMOUS KKK a little uncomfortable.

I'm really not sure what to say...I mean, I don't support the KKK, but it's kind of hard not to agree with their disagreement with the WBC and the Tea Party. More the the point though, HOW FUCKING HARD do you have to FAIL that the KKK of ALL THE FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD come out with the official stance of "oh yeah we aren't touching that bucket of shit...yeah...no bueno there...we'll be over here...being all white...and stuff". I think that actually takes some real fucking effort...I mean you really have to try to get the KKK to dislike you...and to disagree with you, and to officially disallow ALL MEMBERS to go to your little club meetings (I'm looking at you Tea Party). So I guess all that's left to say is, good job WBC and Tea Party, you've managed to turn the single oldest, most well established repository of crazy in this country against you...and that in and of itself, is worthy of praise...

...now take your goddamn pills.


...And that's what I learned today.

Source: http://wonkette.com/443476/ku-klux-klan-distances-selves-from-westboro-baptist-church-tea-party

...This world holds some universal truths...

I'm something of a relativist when it comes to the big super serious issues. I don't like to lock myself into the notion that there are universal truths. I find that kind of thinking terribly closed and limiting. Therefore I tend not to speak in absolutes (though I'm sure my shitty music Mondays would have convinced you otherwise....) However there are occasionally things, concepts, ideas, that end up bringing my otherwise accepting and open mind to a halt. It turns out there are some things that are absolute in this world. Nothing serious like good and evil or the value of life or anything like that. No the one absolute truth in this world is far less serious, yet just as sinister.

Let me draw up a scenario for you. You're a sophomore in college (probably a girl...lets be honest here...), and it's your first day with your brand new macbook. You've already set it up just the way you like it, and downloaded your favorite non-standard browser (chrome most likely...Firefox if you're a stumble addict like me...) and now you're poking around the preloaded software to see if there's anything interesting. Lo and behold, you come across a little application called "photo booth". Curious, you click on it and it obeys your commands, bouncing happily on the dock as it loads. The webcam activates and your face appears on the monitor. Curiouser still you click on the camera. The application counts down and, unprepared for the picture, you make a stupid face as though you were paused unexpectedly mid-sentence (a place where nobody and I do mean NOBODY is photogenic).

Well after a few retakes, you finally have a vaguely acceptable picture. But then, oh what's that? This button says effects. I wonder what that does. Barely able to contain your excitement, you click the button and up pops a menu. Like a kid on christmas, you tear through each and every single filter. From sepia tone to that stupid Andy Worhol multi-colored one, from the filter that makes your head skinny to the fish-eye one that makes you fat. Of course, seeing as you've been given this VIP access to instant hilarity, you must take one photo with every filter. Like a mad scientist, you giggle incessantly to your own distorted visage as though this is the most hilarious thing you've ever come across (as if you'd never EVER seen a funhouse mirror in your life before). Naturally this infinite well-spring of good cheer simply cannot go unshared. So you run down the hall and get all of your friends to come experience the glory that is your new-found photo-taking-application. Inevitably, they find this application hilarious as well and, giggling like a group of teenagers who bought their first ever copy of Cosmo (and yes I'm talking to you too guys...you know you laughed at that thing). After you've had your fill of hilarity and mirth, your rampage is not complete yet...oh no. Now, like the ever loving philanthropist you are, you feel the need, no the compulsion to share your treasure trove of laughs with the rest of the world. So what do you do? You put them all up on facebook.

That's right ladies and gents. The ONE universal truth in this world is that somehow macbooks inevitably mean that YOU, the OWNER of said macbook will create an ENTIRE 300 PHOTO ALBUM ON FACEBOOK of you going through EVERY. SINGLE. FILTER. and taking pictures with your friends. Now I may be a jaded, cynical internet superstar, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. I mean one can only look at so many permutations of a person using that half-of-your-face-mirrored-so-that-it-looks-like-your-whole-face-but-isn't-quite-perfect filter or that REALLY OBNOXIOUS Andy Worhol multi-colored unicorn vomit of a filter before you become a hateful son of a bitch like me. I don't know how many albums there are of this swill on facebook, but I don't think we have even INVENTED a number that goes THAT HIGH yet. So, to all you macbook owners out there, PLEASE stop taking A BILLION photos of yourself and your friends with photo booth. I get it, there are filters that make your face look funnier than it already is. Fine, have fun with that. But you HAVE to draw the line somewhere, and that somewhere is spamming MY newsfeed with that nonsense. I don't need to know that you've just tagged yourself in 300 new pictures of YOU taking pictures of YOU sitting in your room alone. I know that you're not that vain (and if you are, how have you not starved to death admiring your own face in the mirror yet?!)

...And that's what I learned today.

PS Those runs of pictures make it SUPER annoying to creep your profile on facebook too...just saying...

Shitty Music Monday 4

So here's an interesting scenario for you. Say you were the child of some very famous movie actor...lets pick...oh I don't know...Tom Hanks. Now naturally, you'd be blessed with many things, more money than god, instant rapport with those in Hollywood, going to whatever school you could want, and a pool of genes so talented that even your sperm/eggs could win an Oscar. Now given these unlimited resources and superhuman genetics, WHAT would you decide to do with it all? Would you decide to attend a great college, get an amazing education and become the authority of whatever field you decide to pursue? Would you decide to take after your father and become a world class actor/actress? Would you devote your life and wealth to helping those in need, working to stamp out world hunger, disease and inequality? No? You want to be a rapper you say? Well that's fine...I guess...I mean...what's that? You want to be a gangster rapper? Well... I guess you could-

Enter Chester Marlon Hanks AKA Chet Haze, douchebag extraordinaire, and his song "White and Purple". Oh I'm sorry, does that sound familiar? Well it should...fucking hell this is going to be a short post...

1) Music: It's stolen...I mean..."Borrowed" from Wiz Khalifa's hit Black and Yellow...nothing more to say about this...

2) Vocals: Ok where to start with this...Mr. Haze...you're white...you come from a privileged family...YOUR FUCKING DAD IS TOM GODDAMN HANKS. There is NO POSSIBLE WAY that you sound like you're straight outta Compton. And before you start spouting off at the mouth about Eminem and how he sounds, HE grew up in a SHITTY neighborhood in a SHITTY city. YOU grew up with TOM FUCKING HANKS. Don't you DARE start with me about Eminem...But I don't know...maybe I'm being too hard on the kid...rap is rap after all...

3) Lyrics: The dude is a college kid, goes to Northwestern, I get that...but honestly...the lyrics are completely inane. I'm not opposed to rapping about college, there are many who have done it very well in fact (For example, this one and this one). The main difference between those two and this one? Well those are (for the most part) original songs. THIS song however is nothing short of a ham-handed attempt at wedging in Northwestern University frat boy lyrics with all the grace of and dignity of a virgin trying to drunkenly jam it in for the first time. It is INCREDIBLY difficult to write alternate lyrics for a song without it sounding like a cheap rip off of the original material, and only Weird Al has ever pulled it off successfully in my opinion.

4) Video: There is none....not yet anyways...

5) Summary: This is simply not noteworthy music. It's just not good, and he's just not good. In an industry dominated by same-y beats and lyrics all run through the same bullshit corporate machine, awkwardly shoehorning lyrics into a beat you didn't create (or have created for you) so that they're vaguely topical to ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO GO TO YOUR COLLEGE is NOT a way to make it big. I'm no expert in the music industry and I could have told you that. Chet, either step up your game and have some real issues to rap about or don't rap at all. Personally I'm preferable to the latter of the two options...

Suggested Audience: White NU frat boys whose main concerns are drinking and thinking they have problems (You see what I mean by "limited audience"?)

...Google Chrome helps its users...

My browser of choice is, and has generally been Firefox for quite some time. Mostly because it was one of the first ones I started using after IE (which my father has tried to convince is "the best"...which really only means that everyone with half a brain uses it to download a less shitty browser). And while everything, even some cobbled together piece of shit coded by a high schooler with only a cursory understanding of programming is better than Internet Explorer, Firfox is, in layman's terms, a gluttonous memory whore. BUT it was, at the time of installation, the only browser that had stumbleupon, and as everyone should know, I'm a stumble addict. Well since I've started working, I've decided that perhaps using a browser that didn't immediately come with such an easily installed productivity vortex, so I went with google chrome instead.

So Chrome has been my browser for some time now whilst I'm at work. I've been using it for all kinds of things, music, email, web browsing, the typical kind of stuff, and it's kept up with my usage for quite some time. Well recently as an April fools prank, Google released an extension that changed all the fonts to Comic Sans, the bane of the professional world. Well while deleting this obnoxious extension from my browser, I noticed a little option called "Incognito mode". Now I know what the word "incognito" means (and if you don't...google it...I'm not gonna do all your work for you) and I had my suspicions as to what it did. But, curious as I am, I decided to click on it anyways. And, like the scientific genius that I am, my hypothesis was proven correct. It was a mode whereby Chrome would not store your browsing in it's history, it would not save any cookies and it would not retain any URL or Google search information. Now, being a denizen of the intarwebs and well versed in the vast network of tubes that our information superhighway is made of, I'm sure you can think of the ONE SINGULAR PURPOSE THIS MODE SERVES.

Yes it's for minecrafting at work....


NO YOU IDIOT IT'S FOR LOOKING AT PORN. Seriously Google, how much more obvious can you make it?! That's like giving a dropping a fat kid off at an all you can eat buffet and just saying "well lets just see what happens". I'm sure that when they came out with that mode, they figured "Well it's an added layer of security for our users...surely they would never think to use it for inappropriate or otherwise morally reprehensible uses!" (or what I like to call the hacker/torrenter excuse, which typically goes something like "Oh I just made a tool for people to monitor network traffic/share files rapidly...I NEVER thought that THEY would use it for THAT! That's just TERRIBLE and I certainly had NOTHING to do with how they use it!") Do I think this is a bad thing? Not really...because I do believe that it's not the tool, but the user of that tool that dictates the legality of the action blah blah blah stupid boring philosophy stuff.

Also am I surprised that porn likely motivated the creation of incognito mode? Not in the slightest. All great innovations were likely driven by porn. 14th century Italians got bored of having to work for their naked women so they started painting them. 19th century English inventors got tired of painted women, so they invented photography. These same English inventors then got bored of their still images and invented film. Am I exaggerating? Yes. Am I completely off base? I don't think so. If there has ever been a new innovative technology, porn has found a way to exploit it and make it great. Telephones, print news, the internet, VHS, DVD, I'm sure porn even had a hand in deciding the Blu-Ray/HD-DVD battle. And when the singularity happens (Here's a link for those of you too lazy to look it up yourself) I can guarantee you that porn will drive our cloud-connected cyborg brains to greater connectivity and more intricate design. We will push the man/machine boundary to new levels of compatibility all for the sake of porn, and Google Chrome Incognito is just the next step in that direction.

...And that's what I learned today.

Shitty Music Monday #3!

Where last Monday's post was a schizophrenic amalgamation of screamo and 90s ravepop and T-pain style use of autotune with the kind of lyrics that only an angsty teen in the bible belt could write, this weeks post stays strong with screamo, but this time, with a side of Crunk. I present for you, with the official genre of "crunkcore":

Brokencyde - Freaxxx

1) Music: My my my...what a mess we've made. I will give Brokencyde credit for being able to come up with a beat that is halfway decent in its use of synth and drum machines, but lets be honest...the background music is NOT the issue here. In fact, out of everything, the background music is probably the least offensive thing. Refusing to stray far from conventional, proven chord structures, Brokencyde sticks firmly with what sells (going somewhat against the "revolutionary" and "genre breaking" status that they tout). But like I said, the background music isn't the issue whatsoever. A bigger issue here is the...

2) Vocals: Now we're running into some serious problems. While they do somehow manage to combine Lil Jon style party lyrics with screaming, what Brokencyde seems to refuse to realize is that you simply CANNOT smoothly combine the singing and screaming. Again though, the vocals aren't even a HUGE problem here. I mean sure, you can TECHNICALLY make anchovy sushi with marinara sauce, but that doesn't mean the end result will be at all appetizing...The only particularly offensive section of this song vocals-wise is the sad excuse for a rap breakdown that occurs partway through the beginning of the song. I'm sorry but there are exactly three rappers that can pull of the nasal sound, that's (in no particular order) Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg and Childish Gambino (If you don't know him, look him up). YOU sir, are a pasty skinny white scene kid. I don't meant to work off of stereotypes here, but you're not exactly giving me anything to work with. It's time to face the facts, when you "rap" about bitches wanting to sex you, you sound like you are simply describing something you've seen on MTV at one time, but have never ACTUALLY experienced...But again, screaming is screaming and the lead vocals are so heavily autotuned (he could be singing I'm a little teapot and it wouldn't make a difference) that vocals aren't even an issue. The biggest offense of this song is the...

3) Lyrics: Here's where we run into the biggest problem. This song simply cannot make up it's mind who it wants to be. And I think that really illustrates the fundamental problem when you combine screamo with crunk. They are simply on POLAR OPPOSITE ends of the topical scale. When you write crunk lyrics, you write about getting shitfaced and girls wanting to do horrible nasty borderline illegal things to you. When you write screamo lyrics, you write about how the girl you loved broke your heart and how she's a bitch and she sucks and you are mired in an abyss of darkness and emotion. Do you see where those two things don't mix? Well the mutually exclusive element comes down to confidence. You just CAN'T combine the confident swagger of crunk with the cripplingly insecure bowlegged shuffle of screamo. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK. You can't talk about how you're panty-droppingly awesome in the beginning of the song and then have your bridge consist entirely of SCREAMING LIAR AT THE GIRLS YOU WERE JUST SAYING WERE ALL OVER YOU. NO! FUCKING MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND. YOU ARE EITHER THE PIMINGEST PIMPS ON THE FUCKING PLANET OR YOU AREN'T. THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN, STOP TRYING TO LOOK FOR IT, FUCK YOU.

4) Video: Here's where things just make the least sense. I get it, they're not the best paid of all bands, but I've seen better videos produced with less money. The vast majority of the video is spent with the band bobbing up and down in front of a range rover with a cadre of girls that they probably had to bribe to hang out with them, or in front of a green screen with obnoxiously bright colors and silly faux-neon words making sure that you KNOW what they were just singing (you know...in case you missed it the first time). But between the borderline catatonic girls, the EXCEEDINGLY random pig mascot, and the somewhat abusive seeming "LIAR" section (you know, where that one dude who looks like his hair was styled using two forks and an electrical socket) looks like he's choking the girl who is dancing in front of him (with that "fuck this shit can I leave now" look on her face), you have the makings of one fucking terrible music video.

5) Summary: I've hated this song for quite a long time. I honestly don't think it has ANY redeeming qualities outside of perhaps a cruel practical joke or some kind of "hey you know what's a terrible song?" kind of discussion. The worst part of all of this is though, their fanbase is RABID in their defense of the genre. Seriously, religious fanatics could take a lesson from Brokencyde's fans. Everyone who thinks this kind of music is stupid is labeled a "hater" and is dismissed immediately as someone who just "doesn't get it". But you know what? Screw you Brokencyde fans. You don't know anything. This is not "revolutionary". The Beatles were revolutionary, this is shit. There is no other way to classify it.

Suggested Audience: I really don't know who I can suggest use this song...or even this band. The only thing I can come up with is some kind of psychological warfare, but I'm pretty sure that would be illegal under the Geneva Convention....